Cliché End-of-the-Year-Start-of-a-New-One Post

I was only gonna write one of these if I had something worthwhile to say, some take-away that I thought might be helpful or of any sort of use. Cause I’ve been seeing all these posts cropping up this week, seems like everyone’s writing one, but 90% of them are just people bragging about all the things they did and all the places they went and all the good things that happened to them.

In terms of my 2019, one good thing did happen, but that wasn’t just random chance or some holiday; it was a change I made in my own life. The good thing that happened is that I forced myself into the unknown and made a positive decision. And because of that, my 2019 went a whole lot differently than it was heading.

It wasn’t anything significant when you look at it as a whole year, but it was the catalyst for some interesting changes and it’s certainly shaped the start of 2020 into something better for me.

The change I’m referring to is that I quit my job – with no safety net and no other job to go into. I looked around me and saw people pinned down by their own fears and their own long-term plans – I’ve been looking for something else but it’s a dry season – All the places have stopped hiring for a few months now Christmas is over – There’s literally nothing going right now – are all phrases I kept hearing and, admittedly, kept saying myself to justify why I was in the same toxic, meaningless job, overworked and underpaid, messed around and shouted at by shady management in a deep-rooted cult of personality starting at the top…

I am a strong believer that if you’re not happy with your job, you should leave. It’s all well and good to go around saying it to people whose shoes you aren’t in, but when it finally happens to you, you should have some conviction and take your own advice. It took me way too long to realise that.

The anti-climax of this decision was that they convinced me to stay in the job a little longer rather than leave. I would have been leaving them in a pretty bad situation. I had a fair amount of responsibilities, and I was one of only a couple of people who knew the ins and outs of certain things. I knew all this before I quit, but I didn’t care. What convinced me to stay was a £1K+ bonus slipped to me under the table. I said I’d give it another few weeks.

In the end, I gave them two.

I was very randomly offered a job at another place I frequented in my free time. I’d gotten to know some of the people there on a first-name basis, and I guess things just played out pretty well.

But what I took from this was that I had the actual balls to just quit my job. My family couldn’t understand it, my friends couldn’t really understand it either, but were way more supportive, having seen and spoken to me day-to-day while I was working there. It was a single impulsive decision that most would consider reckless and unwise, but it boosted me, gave me confidence, inspired me. And I didn’t think I could do that to myself.

2019 played out differently from there because I kept doing this. I kept agreeing to things I wanted to do and applying for things I wanted to be a part of – totally impulsively – with no second thought and no long-term thinking… All of that would work itself out later on, one way or another.

As a result of this, I got a new job, I joined a new band, I got my comic book finished and printed, I started studying a Master’s degree, I started getting professional Swedish lessons, I got the ball rolling on moving into a new house with more friends…

The band stuff turned out great – I messaged a guy after seeing his Facebook post about looking for a new drummer and suddenly I was in a band. We’ve played 5 gigs locally so far, we have our first single recorded, and I’ve met a great bunch of guys. The Swedish lessons, a language I’ve wanted to/tried to learn for a decade, I now have over 50 hours of lessons done so far. The Master’s course, I’m doing it part time alongside that new job I mentioned, it’s giving me the time and money I need to beef up my professional portfolio to pursue my passions and my career. All this I’ve been mashing together alongside my continued freelance work, my personal work, and finding time to see my friends, my family, and even just chill out on my own…

It’s been a busy, crazy, hectic year. But it’s mad how many new things you can ram into your life just by foregoing the “how is this gonna work?” and just hashing out the logistics later on; by just being a massive ‘Yes’. It’s all kinda fallen into place.

I remember back in January 2019, my mum asked me if I’d be free in October to look after the dog while the family goes to Cyprus. I laughed, because it was so far off, and how could I even give a valid answer to that question when I didn’t even know what shifts I’d be working the following week? I said “I could be literally anywhere in October, ask me closer to the day!” Truer words had never been spoken. January-me and October-me were in two completely different places. I can’t remember another year where that change in my situation was so dramatic.

By the way, we worked out the looking after my dog thing in the end, he had a great week.

My point in all of this rambling is – if you’re looking for a new year’s resolution, if you’re looking to get out of where you are and into something better/different – stop planning ahead and just end your situation. I’ve had people try to explain to me why they can’t just up and leave their shitty situation, why they can’t quit this job or why they can’t break up with this person yet, but the solution is so simple.

Let the waves of chance carry you to somewhere new and somewhere interesting. Quit your toxic job. Break up with that manipulative harlot. Go to Japan for a month. Cut those ties and burn those bridges. Whatever you want.

So, my 2020 ‘words of wisdom’ to you; my life hack: Stop planning.

I’m sure as shit gonna keep it going in my 2020.

Happy new year. I sincerely hope everything you have in January violently falls apart and gets replaced by much better things before October.

Ciao xox